So Happy Fat Tuesday Everyone!!! How do you celebrate Mardi Gras? Do you celebrate at all? Have you been to New Orleans? I have, we ate at a TGI Fridays. What a waste of a trip! Oh to go back and smack my youthful self for so many missed opportunities! At least we walked around and saw some of the city in the rain.
Growing up I always knew that Mardi Gras Tuesday was Doughnut Day or Pancake day! I think it may be a regional thing. I won’t be indulging in any Pączkis or Pancakes! I have come too far. A few weeks ago I bought Robb some powdered sugar covered lemon filled doughnuts, they smelled SO GOOD. They looked so soft like little pillows of heaven inviting me to take a bite… and I did, and counted the calories… and one bite was enough. It tasted so fatty! Deep fried YUCK!
Granted sweets were never really my thing but it was still that smell tied to something deep inside. A memory that I can’t quite pull out yet. Other food memories are being pulled out though. I was walking in the isles of the grocery store last week and recalled my math flashcards as a kid in first grade. At the grocery store, math… what the heck right? Well let me tell you a story of an over achiever who liked her snacks!
When I was a kid, I was good at school. My mom would quiz me before bed with math flashcards. For every math problem that I got right I got ONE Nacho Cheese Dorito. I got REALLY good at answering those cards quick! So now as an adult the smell of that flavor of Doritos takes me right back to the kitchen table… it also makes me a little queasy now. It didn’t ever have that queasy association before I started on this journey but now that I have been pushing myself to look at my relationships with food and health I see that food being used as a reward that young could have put in some sort of mental foundation for my future. So this queasy pit that just thinking about those chips gives me is something new, and almost welcomed at this point. I think it means I am growing.
I can only hope that someday I can learn more of these associations. I hope that as my friends and family see my transformation, and transform themselves they know not to use food as rewards for their kids! Would points toward a book of my choice, or something like that have changed my future? Maybe not, but I can’t help but wonder.