Letting Go!

Before we begin have you heard of Blogging For a Change? Blogging For A Change

Blogging for a change is a week-long rally/raffle to help raise money for the Red Cross to help rebuild Japan. Check it out there are some really great sponsors and you have a chance to win some great prizes (which isn’t what this is about but really if it gets you there then go and visit the site!)

 Now onto what this blog is really about… ME! (I kid I kid… but really it is true.) So Saturday I went to Coffee and Conversation Hosted by Jen.  It was a very casual meeting, and let me tell you it was awesome!  Yes I was once again sleep deprived and arrived early (read as on time for me.)  The women (no guys this time) there were simply AMAZING. Mariah was there to share her story, and let me tell you, her blog… Unstoppable Mariah is so appropriately named you would not believe it!  As she shared her story I tried to hold back tears.  A few slipped out, and you know what that is okay.  Mariah is a Mother, a Wife, a Tri-athlete and an inspiration among so many things! I am so lucky to have had the opportunity to hear her story first hand, Thanks Mariah, and thank you for the inspiration to keep pushing myself.

After the coffee meetup I debated heavily a walk around Lake Calhoun.  I have never walked around any of the lakes here in Minnesota.  I decided that it looked too overwhelming for me.  My tummy was grumbling so I went to Subway grabbed a Turkey foot long loaded with veggies ate half of it and headed to the gym. 

I have been doing the c25k training.  I was supposed to move on to week 3 but when I looked at the requirements for Week3Day1 I pretty much freaked the flippin kitten out!  Run 3 minutes, are you out of your mind? So I decided to repeat Week2Day3.  (0 seconds of running… That is a bit more my speed.  I did my workout and kept on going.  Mariah’s words echoed in my head, the stories and goals of the other people at the coffee shop echoed in my head and I pushed myself through my very first 5k on the treadmill I pushed myself to see if I could run more than 90 seconds… I ran for 2 minutes and I didn’t die.  64 minutes.  No record-breaking speeds there however my goal for the 5k is less than One Hour. 

Fast forward to today.  It was time to run again.  The prospect of a three-minute run was all I could think about.  I was so scared.  How was I supposed to run for three minutes?  I weigh over 250 pounds, I have bad knees, hundreds of I cants and I wont be able to’s filled my mind.  I found a treadmill off to the side of the gym, no mirror in front of me.  I started up my iPod and the treadmill and started walking the warmup out.  I knew the first run was only 90 seconds.  I fumbled through my music, still not knowing what is the best suited running music for me.  I have only found a handful of songs that are the right fit for me.  The first run came and went, followed by the first 90 second walk… I pushed through my playlist looking urgently for the song I wanted.  Okay I am lame but I totally needed the right song for that run… Freak the Freak out from the tv show Victorious on Nickelodeon is just the right BPM for what I was about to run.  When “Run Now” loaded through my headphones I sped up the treadmill, and closed my eyes for a moment.  I peered out the window and just started to focus on my breathing.  I took a deep belly breath, there is no way to describe it other than that.  Not shallow breathing from the chest, but low belly moving breath.  I let the music move through my mind as I stared out the window and I let go. 

I let go… it just happened. I felt a rush of something almost wash over me and it just… just freed me.  People say running is mental, and I know that  they are referring to long distance running but I think it applies to anything.  Before I knew it the 3 minute run was over! Where did the time go?

Tonight I tweeted about my victory at the gym to the #priorfatpack.  I can’t believe how much my friends have inspired me to step out of my comfort zone and push myself.  I have met so many supportive and wonderful people on my journey and it is amazing.  They always seem to bring out the best in me and I hope that I can do the same for them.

Tonight I tweeted, “I keep doing things I never thought I could do and I am beginning to wonder who the person doing them really is”  Does anyone else feel like this? I know Jen said she knows what I mean.  I just… I feel like I have gone mental sometimes.  Here I am doing these incredible things I never thought I could do, running (at all let alone for 3 mins), signing up for a 5k, looking at a triathlon for 2012, losing 169 pounds, meeting new friends and being healthy.  I do not recognize myself anymore.  Who could this person doing these things be… what alien came and took over my body because there is no flipping way that I am the one that is actually doing all these things! I need to connect the dots inside myself and find out when I became the person I am now.

2 thoughts on “Letting Go!

  1. Congrats on your 3 minute run Kris. That’s great. It’s amazing what we can get ourselves to do when we push ourselves out of our comfort zones. Your an inspiration.

  2. Kris- Thanks for your kind words. It was great talking to you as well. I’m so excited to be part of the priorfatpack. You are such an example of keeping on track and staying focused.

    Unstoppable Mariah

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