Tonight I had the chance to watch one of my all time favorite movies The Princess Bride. Have you ever seen this movie? It is truly a classic film that everyone should see. It is not a girly romance movie, there is action and adventure, sword fights, a bit of romance and even rumors of rous’s. What are those? Well rodents of unusual size, thought I don’t know that they actually exist.
There are tons of quotable lines from this movie, that I will spout off randomly and i LOVE when people get the references. However there are a lot of quotes from this movie that hit so close to home. Today I want to share one with you as the #PriorFatPack weekend kicks off.
“Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid or something? Oh no. It’s just they’re terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.”
With my blog here, and through the evolution of my new healthy lifestyle I feel as though what I used to wear as my mask has actually started to slip away. I know we all wear masks everyday. I feel as though we each have a box of masks sitting in box inside ourselves. We have the masks we wear at work, and around family. We have the ones we wear in new uncomfortable unfamiliar situations. We have so many to choose from. I know I used to wear some very shielding masks all the time.
When I was much heavier I never wanted to let anyone get close to me. The only time I felt safe to be myself was behind the microphone on xbox-live. There no one was able to see me and I could be whomever I wanted to me. I was always the person I felt best as. Who is that person you may ask? A bubbly giggly boisterous flirty girl who was comfortable with herself in all aspects of her life. What happens when I find out I live close enough to go to dinner with those people? I did it! That was YEARS ago now. Back then I had not yet reached rock bottom with my weight, which oddly rock bottom is an all time high. Those friends accepted me, and I was comfortable to be me.
As time went on and the weight crept up I firmly kept my mask in place. I never had many traditional friends no matter what my size was after my best friend moved in second grade I was never the same. I did not know how to make friends. I still struggle with making friends, how do you make friends as an adult? Well, joining a gym and going out to trivia and actively seeking out opportunities to go out with people wo share your interests seems to be the key! I didn’t feel comfortable doing any of these things for so many years. To be honest, I started letting my mask define me! I thought I was just shy, and quiet. I thought no one would or could ever want to be friends with me. I had warped myself into this person that I am happy to say is no longer allowed to hang out with me!
So as I have shed so much of my weight, I have swapped out my masks! The masks that I once wore around everyone, that kept me from making eye contact with anyone are falling into the trashcan. The mask that prevented me from striking up a conversation with people while waiting for a flight or train or in like at the store has disappeared. That bubbly giggly boisterous girl who once only lived where people couldn’t see me, or hurt me now lives in the real world. I have embraced the fact that I can laugh loudly. I know that my smile can light up a room and brighten someones day. I walk down the streets with my head held high making eye contact with people. I have grown into a strong proud woman and there are so many of my new friends that have helped shape me into who I am. I know that self-confidence can only be built from within, but there is something to be said about the confidence you can gain from others.
This weekend I have the opportunity to hang out with some incredible people. The #PriorFatPack. Some of these men and women I have met before. Some I have spent large amounts of time with. We have shared coffee and dinner and stories of triumph and tragedy. Others I have only spent a short amount of time getting to know, or have only gotten to know through their blogs and yet there are others who I know absolutely nothing about! I am SO EXCITED to get to know each and every one of these people better. I fully intend to take photos, and be in photos (which I wouldn’t ever do before without protest). I will laugh and share stories, I will welcome people back to our fair city with open arms! Who is this new person? Why it is Kris and she is healthy and happy! Can’t you tell from that incredible smile she wears all the time now?
So I shall leave you with this parting thought as I head to bed to rest up for my Day 2 of the #PriorFatPack weekend. I am off to sleep!
“Rest well and dream of large women” ~The Princess Bride