BLUAA BLA BLA!!!

Tasmanian Devil (Looney Tunes)

Image via Wikipedia

Grunty, growly, and raspy sounding.  Sure sounds like me the morning of the 5k right? Add in an uncontrollable appetite and it sounds a little less like me.  Toss in the ability to spin and bite through nearly anything and you know I am no longer talking about me. 

Have you figured it out yet?  I am talking about Taz!

Guess what everyone!  I am remembering things again!! This is an awesome thing!! Another chunk of my former life comes crashing through my mind in an unexpected place.  I was recently reminded of a pin that I would wear on my black denim jacket back in the 90’s.  I had three of them actually.  They were Taz as an angel!  He had little wings and a halo.  I wore him on the collar of my jacket, he was my little buddy.  I had forgotten all about that jacket, and the pins on it.  I can see the jacket… and it actually ties into the shirt I tweeted about yesterday.  My jacket was covered in patches from Hot Topic with all kinds of things.  I don’t recall exactly what the patches were, but I remember there were quite a few with sexual innuendos on them.  Other declared that I was a princess, and a few I think were images of faeries and cartoon characters and superheros.  

I wanted to be cool, but I was viewed as the oddball, the outcast.  I know now I was just far too cool for the crowd that was there.  I think perhaps I am lucky that I didn’t fall in with those people.  I look where I am in my life now, in the big city, meeting all these incredible people who have traveled the world, and still travel the world and I am so blessed!  I hear stories of how they have touched others lives by doing things they are passionate about and it stirs something deep inside of me. 

I wonder if I will ever be able to share a story where I have changed someones life.  Then I think about the night that the #PriorFatPack started.  Our small family that has grown by leaps and bounds.  I think about how my small supportive cheers have perhaps spurred someone to take a step they didn’t think they ever would.  Does that count?  Well, it does to me, but it isn’t enough.  I want to change the world and make a difference to someone.  I want to make the world spin!  I want the world to feel my impact even if it is just a small ripple effect. I know I have to keep trying to change the world, one thing at a time.  I am not sure how I know that it is what I need to do, but something is pushing me forward. I can’t just expect others to do all the work to change the world.  Perhaps this is why I have become so passionate about things lately? Who knows… I know I don’t.

I am so grateful that I am starting to remember my past.  I know there is a lot of painful stuff back there, but I am truly grateful as these tiny pieces fill in the gaps that I have obviously blocked out.

… I wonder if Angel Taz is floating around in one of the bags of stuff that is still boxed up from my last move in 2005… that was still bagged and boxed from the 2000 move. Maybe it is still at my mom’s house, the jacket is long gone but the pins may still be there.  It may just be worth a look!

2 thoughts on “BLUAA BLA BLA!!!

  1. Gawd, I remember so much stuff, my parents and my sister ask *me* if “I remember when we rode camels at the zoo”, if “I remember when we went to Jackson Hole and my dad pretended to be an annoying fly” (yeah you had to be there)…etc etc. I’m constantly filling in my little sister on the adventures we had, hahaha.

    Of course, good or bad, there isn’t much in my life that I have suppressed to protect myself either…I remember all the bad things AND the good things.

    You have totally changed my life Kris…I would *never* have done the 5K if you hadn’t have been encouraging the #priorfatpack to do so, and I would *never* have started c25k if you hadn’t have encouraged Corryn, who encouraged me to do it…OMG I’ve only done TWO DAYS of c25k and I LOVE RUNNING. Thank you! 🙂

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