Learning to Swallow

Learning how to swallow… Two little words… Two VERY difficult to swallow words.

Thank You

These words roll off my tongue in so many situations!  When someone holds open a door, or passes me the salt shaker at the table.  When someone does something for me I make sure to let them know that I appreciate them.  I always want to make sure that others know that I see their kindness and I want to acknowledge it.

I have gotten much better at saying ‘Thank You’ when people compliment me about my weight loss success, and my healthy living choices.  I have learned to accept those compliments because I am proud of what I have done.  I understand that what I am doing is not easy.  It is something to be proud of.  It is something so many people try to do, but do not know how to do, and while I do not have all the answers I have found something that works for me and it is okay to say thank you when someone acknowledges your hard work.

I am sure you are asking what do you mean you can’t say those two little words then?  You said them just a few posts down!  I still struggle so much to say Thank You when someone compliments me about other things.  This all goes back to self-esteem I suppose.  On the rare occasion that I was told in the past that I was beautiful, or looked nice I thought it was a joke.  A lot of times it was.  Kids are cruel, teenagers are cruel, and as I learned the hard way, adults can be just as cruel.  So now that I am feeling better about myself, slowly I am learning to accept compliments as they come.

I learned somewhere along the way that to reject someones compliment is to insult the person giving it to you.  That is never my intention, however it becomes difficult at times to discern if someone is just being nice, or if their thoughts actually match their words.  So slowly I am learning to say Thank you.  It is something I really want to learn to do.  I want to learn to accept a compliment, feel good about it, not guilty.  (Yes I feel guilty when I get a compliment, like I don’t deserve it.) I am right now at a point where I will say, “Thank you, I don’t agree but thank you.”  Every time I say that I want to kick myself in the ass so hard because I want so badly t o believe the truth in the words.  Someday I will I am sure.  It is just a process.  A long evolving process of learning.

So for those of you out there who know how to accept compliments gracefully, how do you do it?  Have you always been able to feel good about getting them?  Do you just smile and ignore the voice in your head? Any tips for me?

6 thoughts on “Learning to Swallow

  1. Great post and something difficult for many people. When I was a teen, I received training on how to accept compliments so I’ve had about 25 years of practice and it can still be a challenge. I started thinking about how it makes me feel when people do not accept my compliment gracefully and it has helped. It does feel a bit like rejection as you put it! I also think it can be equally hard for people to give compliments. Thanks for your post Kris. You are a great writer.

    • Thank you Janelle, I can’t imagine training on how to receive compliments, that seems… like a class they should offer at a local community center to adults!! it would be a popular class I think.
      I know I would certainly be taking it, and perhaps reccomending it to a lot of people.
      I am glad you enjoyed the post 🙂

  2. I have to agree with Janelle that its hard for most people to give compliments, try and remember that if they are taking the time to say something, they probably thought about it for awhile and got up the courage to say it, especially if its to your face…so, don’t worry that they don’t mean it…and if they didn’t mean it, they are 5 and they aren’t your friend anyway 🙂

    BTW, looking good lady!

    • Great insight Mer! I don’t need 5 year olds as friends! 🙂 They run way faster than I do at the 5k and don’t cheer near as hard as the #priorfatpack does!
      I guess I will keep trying to remind myself that it takes courage for people to say nice things, and it takes nothing to be an Ass! 😀

  3. I wish I could help you with this one, but I have the same, for lack of a better word, “distrust” of compliments. Not sure where it comes from, but I want to overcome it, as well. Incredibly difficult for me. Love the perspective from the comment above, though!

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