Sunday night I had a “moment”. One of those moments along the journey that makes you stop and take a step back.
As I sat looking at my camera, at some photos taken just hours earlier I cocked my head to the side with a befuddled look on my face. Intellectually I knew who the person in the picture was, but when I looked at the picture I did not recognize the person in it.
For years I have heard of people losing weight and not recognizing themselves in photos. I personally have struggled greatly with seeing the change in my own body as the weight has come off, but never did I think that I would look at a photo of myself and not think that it was of me.
About a half-dozen photos were taken of me as I unwrapped a birthday present from my dear friends Jenn and Mal. I sit here looking at them and see someone who cannot possibly be me. Okay, the arms could be me… they are HUGE, but the face and neck, and shoulders with collar bones, they are not me! Where did that neck come from? Where did the extra chins go?
I feel like I am having an identity crisis right now. I guess I need to look at the old photos and new ones close to each other and look to find that spark that was smoldering.
Clearly there was a death that occurred, we have covered that on this blog. I killed the old Kris. (May she rot!) Side by side I can see that I the photo is of me, but I am still struggling to realize that it is me. I suppose this will be a continuing trend as I go through the changes in my life. I think I am grateful that the weight isn’t coming off any faster than it did, because I think I would really be lost.