Sunday Blues Recovery Edition

I want a Sunday Do over! I had planned to go to the gym and put a few solid miles on the elliptical.  I had planned to pedal out a few more miles on the bike.  I had planned to get my sweat on and bust my ass.  So what did my Sunday actually look like?

Well I worked my usual shift until 4:00am, made myself some breakfast for dinner.  YUM!  Bacon and eggs (over easy) and a piece of bread to clean up the yolks.  Since the meal was lacking in veggies I cut up a cucumber I snagged at the farmers market last Tuesday (we got to get those veggies in every meal!).  Then a nice long night of sleep.  I crawled into bed at about 6:00am and out of bed around 3:00pm.  I didn’t sleep horribly but it was one of those toss-and-turn nights.  When I had to will my body to cooperate and get out of bed today I knew it was not going to be a good day.

I needed a few things from the store, so I hit Super Target, but forgot what I needed once I got there.  So I grabbed some berries and a few household staples I knew I needed to replace, then a Subway sandwich and headed home.  That is where I spent the rest of the night, except for two trips up and down the steps of the apartment building.

This weather is actually killing me.  There was a storm front that moved through Saturday night that I could actually literally feel the pressure change within my body from it.  It sucked!  It sends my body into this awful heightened state of irritation.  That higher level is enough today to send me into a tailspin of depression and General Grumpiness. (*Salutes*)

I watched Sucker Punch, then this weeks episode of True Blood, finished off United States of Tara (season 3), then watched You Again and I have Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince on now.  I haven’t had a pajama day in a while, at least not one quite like this.

I find myself so disgusted with myself today with my body, with the extra skin, with my aches and pains with everything.  I feel like I reek of failure.  I wish that I could just feel normal again.  The humidity and the changing weather the last few weeks have been killing me.  I also think that the whole month of July was so busy that perhaps I have just reached the pinnacle of overload.  I am not used to as much socialization as I have had.  I mean given the choice stay home or go out I will go out… I am just not used to being out as much as I have been.

I am so much in love with my friends and spending time out and about with the girls, having sushi and coffee.  Chatting and shopping, doing whatever.  I loved my cardio session with Jenn last week, and I really wish I could have a cardio buddy at the gym with me all the time.  I have only one thing outside of my gym schedule and trivia nights on the calendar for this month right now and that is the PriorFatGirl Summer Event. I look at last months inked up mess of scribbled dates and times, names and places and wonder when I had time to do anything.

Hopefully as I lay my head down to go to sleep by the time I wake up I will hurt a little less.  No excuses tomorrow, I will be at the gym, whether I just float around in the pool or rock out several miles.  I want to wake up and feel better about myself.  I want to wake up and be able to look in the mirror and not focus on the flabby skin on my arms and stomach.  I want to be able to look into my eyes and see the determination that I feel in my heart, but that my body denied me today.

3 thoughts on “Sunday Blues Recovery Edition

  1. Okay – everybody is allowed to have a “pity party” and this blog is yours. It’s ok to feel bummed, it’s ok to feel bad and disappointed, but then the party ends and you move on. Chin up, buttercup, today is a new day!! And it’s the bad days that help the good ones seem better!!! You got this!!

  2. Gosh, we are so in sync right now. I’ve been feeling these same feelings, due to pain in my knees. I haven’t wanted to go to the gym and get those workouts in, but I made you a promise last week, and I kept my word. Well, technically I worked out at home Sunday, but I did get in a good, sweaty, workout (upping resistance level on the bike), and did receive encouragement from my trainers that day, as Mal and I attended church with them that morning.

    I don’t know if you feel the same way, but for me, I am really struggling to find balance. I feel so “all of nothing” these days. With the “all”, I push myself to the point of fatigue and pain, which is discouraging. And the “nothing”, well we know where that gets me. 😉 Maybe we can help each other with this. If you need a workout buddy, you know you’re welcome to swing out my way and we can log some cardio together. I really enjoyed that! Hang in there kid, and take some time for you. Saying “no” to a few things, (hopefully not workouts) might be a good idea for the time being. It might energize you to take time for yourself after your crazy busy birthday month. Love you!

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