You can’t run from your past. It is a part of who you are. It shapes who you become. Tuesday night I was home from the gym early enough to catch most of #Fitblog due to the fact that I forgot my swimsuit. iFail! (At least I still got my sweat on at the gym on the elliptical and the recumbent bike!)
Fitblog was about blogging this time… You can see the whole log over at Http://www.fitblogchats.com
140 characters is hardly enough room to provide a well thought out answer. It has left me thinking much of the night. I even ended up going back to my old LiveJournal and reading what I was doing 10 years ago. My “LJ” is after all 11 years old now and contains my entire relationship with my ex husband. I would hit the delete button… but you can’t erase your past… you can’t run from it. It is a part of who you are. It is a part of what makes me who I am. I learned a lot from that relationship about what I deserve, and what I am worth. Going back and reading excerpts from my old life often leaves me feeling so sad and depressed. The entry I plucked today. 10 years ago, closest entry to this date was about a girl I went to school with (I became related to her through marriage) who had just passed away from Cystic Fibrosis after having been in a coma after a lung transplant.
So I figured I would take a little time and discuss the #fitblog questions on my blog today
Q1) Why did you start your blog?
I started this blog after a meeting with Jen, a priorfatgirl. She saw me scribbling in my notebook after one of her get-togethers and told me I should start a blog. Inspired by that I thought it would be a great way to help others. I wanted people to know that they are not alone on their journey. I started out at over 400 pounds and I was miserable! Most bloggers that I could find were starting out in the 250-range and that was so frustrating. Was I the biggest person in the world? Was there no hope for me? I wanted others to know that getting healthy was possible, and that losing weight could be done. It would be hard work, and that there would be struggles along the way but that each and every one of us is worth the fight.
Q2) What has surprised you most about blogging?
I think at first what surprised me was that anyone gave a damn about what I had to say. I didn’t think that anyone would actually care that I lost weight, or gained weight. I didn’t think anyone would want to read about my struggles, or the challenges that I faced. Yes mine are a little different from other people, due to the nature of some of my illnesses, but there are also so many that are the same. Lack of motivation, family issues, temptation foods, who wants to read about that right? Maybe it just helps knowing that we aren’t alone. I know I read a lot of that stuff.
Another thing that I have found surprising with blogging is the community that has been forged. I have real friends that I met through my blog, and other blogs. Like actual face to face friends. Call on the phone in the middle of the night and pour my heart out friends. Get together on a Friday night and have a girls night out friends! Whether I met these ladies on my blog, or on someone elses blog, it was because of blogland that I met them. These people are more than just words on a page to me, they are family.
I know for a fact there are people not in the blogging community that do not understand what goes on. It is just like every other group activity out there… you don’t fully understand it unless you do it.
Q3) Have you ever wanted to quit blogging? Why?
I have never wanted to quit blogging. This is why my LiveJournal is still active after 11 years. It is “friends only” for whatever kind of joke that truly is on the internet. When I split up with my ex husband before I moved to Minnesota… god an eternity ago I thought about quitting blogland then. I had my own dot-com back then where I blogged more publicly (and had forums) along with my LJ. I shut that down just because I didn’t have time to maintain the site without his help.
I didn’t really have much to say for years after the split. my life was very stagnate. I did very little other than play my video games. I lived here in Minnesota barely leaving the house, not engaging in any kind of activities so there was no reason to share myself with the world. I kept interacting with my LiveJournal followers though. I always enjoyed the interactivity of the blogs.
Q4) What is your vision for the future of your blog?
I would love to see my blog be a place for others to find a way to help themselves. I want people to find inspiration, and support in my words and experiences. I would love to use my blog as a gateway to a career for me to help change the lives of other people. I feel like I have a gift, I just don’t know exactly what it is, or how to use it just yet… but I am getting closer to exactly what it is.
Fitblog usually doesn’t make me think this much, but I suppose thinking about how long I have been bobbing along in blogland has left me a little sentimental. I don’t know how I truly feel as I go back and read thru some of my LJ blogs. I can clearly see how unhappy I was at some points. I can see how alone I was and how desperate for friends I was. It is definitely nice to have a record of what was going on in my life for the last 11 years. Looking through a virtual scrapbook of what I thought was important as a 19 or 20 year old is very enlightening now. It is also kinda sad, as that is truly the blog of a dead person. The person from that life is dead. Yes I have continued to update it here and there as I have been in Minnesota. I have updated as my weight has come off… but since the launch of this blog it has faded and been placed into the drawer like an old diary.
So… Care to take a few moments and share your thoughts about blogging? Maybe answer these questions on your blog and comment on mine to let me know you did! Or just leave your thoughts in the comments!
Then next Tuesday log into Twitter or http://fitblogchats.com/
and join the #fitblog experience! They start at 9PM EST. Make some new friends and have a good time!