What If? As If!

So Thursday I went out for a bike ride with Corryn and Nick.  You guys know Corryn and Nick, they did the CC Hearts and Minds 5k with the #f2fpack!  They are very awesome people!  Well, they got to be the first people to join me for a bike ride.  Other than my outing in the parking lot the day I got my bike, and my in the dark trek to the gym which resulted in the squirrels trying to commit suicide in front of my bike I haven’t done much riding.

So I rode my bike to our meeting place, and got there in enough time to take a small rest before we went on our outing.  As I sat outside SeaSalt, a local apparently very popular summertime eatery that I had never been to before, my mind started drifting back to the what ifs that had plagued my mind since I said okay to biking with people.  This was not a good place to be in my head.  What if I can’t keep up with them?  What if the trail is too steep?  What if I fall? (which we established the answer to this is I get back up and ride again) What if I cry? What if this, what if that… I shifted my focus to the tables of people around me.  I tried to be in the moment.  I rode my bike there.  I did it.  I made it that far.  I had not been run over.

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Be in the moment

A few minutes later my cohorts arrived, on schedule and we debated which way to go.  None of us had ever ridden there before, so we were all kind of unsure of the way we wanted to go.  So we headed off.  We rode for a bit, not too long.  My mind worried that it wasn’t worth it for Corryn and Nick to have come all the way over to Minnehaha Falls to just ride the short amount that we did, and I told my brain to STFU!

After our ride we checked out Minnehaha Falls.  I had never been there before.  Now when I say that, some people might just say what is the big deal, they haven’t been there either.  What you fail to realize is that I live less than two miles from this…

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I live in a city, a major metropolitan area, and less than two miles from my residence is this beautiful piece of nature.  Who knew? Well, pretty much everyone except me!  So now that I know it is there I plan to return to see it during all the seasons.  Corryn and Nick pointed out the stairs… my old enemy… stairs… that lead to the bottom area of the falls. We headed down to the bottom of the falls.  Down the steps we trotted, I thought about how I would have never ventured anywhere near these steps even a year ago.  It would have been too much.  It was already a humid day, but the falls themselves were giving off a mist of their own.  We could feel the humidity climbing as we descended into the cavern.  We reached the bottom of the falls and boy was it misty.

Corryn and Kris at Falls

We explored the bottom of the falls a bit, walking up the creek and laughing.  We discussed how the falls have actually moved over the years.  That relates to how small changes lead to big success.  It was very profound actually.

We climbed back up the steps, and I noticed benches at each “landing” of the stairs.  No Breaks!  We kept climbing all the way back to the top… and when I reached the top I did a little Rocky style victory jump pumping my arms.  It was about time for me to head home, I had to ride back before it got too dark, so we unlocked out bikes, each a different style, and we headed out.  Corryn told me I need to learn to tell people who I am on their left or right, that’s helpful, I never thought about that before.  However I had survived.

On my ride back up Minnehaha Ave I had some thinking to do… and the What If Crew came back.  What if they are talking about how bad a ride it was, how slow I was, how short the ride was.  I got closer to home and shook my head, literally and got those thoughts out of my mind.  I lugged my bike back up the 3 flights of steps and I was back where I started.

I met up with Meredith and filled my tummy with fresh fish and veggies at Wakame Sushi!  We gabbed about the world and diet and fitness.  I headed to work after sushi (NOM!!!! So happy I put this on my 2011 to do list!) and late into the night when I was driving back from a pickup with some cargo on board I was thinking about my day.

I thought about all of the time I had wasted thinking about the what if’s of not being fast enough, or able to ride for long enough, or able to keep up, or able to *whatever* and for one brief moment I had… clarity.  I pulled over to the side of the road and reached for my notebook as the words came out of my mouth I wrote them down.

What If I am Good Enough?

How profound is that?  If just for one moment I let myself think about it.  Then I was back on the road.  As I drove up the highway passing the exits I have driven past several times this week I let the thought sink in that I can be good enough, as long as I am giving my 100%.

I started to think about how scary it can be when you accept that you can be good enough, because it really means that you are giving it your all.  It also means that failure can happen.  For me on this journey, this time failure is not an option.  There is only my way, no highway option.  I cannot go back to my old life, because that was no life.  I will not go back to the way I was living existing before this.   I have gained too much, and I have too much to lose.

So perhaps, as you head out to face your challenges this week, to push or your goals you can remind yourself that maybe you really are good enough!  Why, because you tell yourself so!  You don’t think so, well why not?  Don’t short yourself, don’t waste the energy being so negative!  You are good enough!  You deserve this!

5 thoughts on “What If? As If!

  1. Double what Misty said.

    Isn’t funny how we discover these place after we make the change to become healthy? I’ve lived in my house for 4 years. I took my 3 1/2 to discover this state park less than 2 miles from it. It’s has a bunch of trails and the dog loves going there. But I would have never gone there until someone in my Weight Watchers meeting mentioned it.

  2. Wow. It seems so simple when I see it typed out there in black and white. “What if I am Good Enough?” But what a powerful statement. Sometimes, we need to see things that seem obvious called out for it to resonate. Glad to hear your bike ride w/ Corryn and Nick went well. I’d love to join you for a ride sometime! 🙂

  3. Not worth it? Omg, woman. I can’t even tell you how honored I am to spend time with you. Both Nick and I had a GREAT time and I can’t wait for out next ride with you! Thank you for the fun evening.

    P.S. You kicked butt on that snazzy bike.

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