So Sunday night I was stressed out over my pending cardiologist appointment. What better thing to do than harness that energy and clean! I got rid of somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 bags full of trash. Things like old clothes that were stretched to their limits from when I was “fitting” into a 26/28 when I needed a 30.
I found pants with ripped belt-loops, that I put into a bin in the closet because fat clothes are so expensive. I found more of those ever popular 4xl mens pocket t-shirts that I became so well-known for. When i saw them I actually felt anxiety about them. I have pocket t-shirts currently, I wear them for work and every once in a while if I need to have easy access to my phone for whatever activity I am doing. I stuffed those shirts into bags so quickly I didn’t want to see them. I didn’t want to think about them.
At one point I came to one of the many boxes of old underwear… I unlike some other people have always felt the need for cute underwear. Having something sexy or cute under my clothes gave me confidence and just made me feel good. I suppose it was my version of makeup, but it was something way easier! So as I just tossed and tossed things away I was looking at the size, not the tag, but the shape, the look, the cut the design etc of the items I was getting rid of.
I don’t remember being that large. The pants, yeah I guess, the t-shirts yeah I guess so… but the underwear that was a hard one to face. Robb was helping me throw away all the crap I had stored away over the years. He picked up a pair from the box and held them up and started laughing. Then he said I feel like Jack Black in Shallow Hal, when he is holding that fat girls underwear. That flush of embarrassment started creeping over me. He held them up, stretched them out, because lets face it, like all my other clothes I was pushing the limits of some of them.
If you look at me now, compared to who I used to be I am not the same person. Physically, if you hold up those undies it really is like a scene from that movie where Jack Black is in the bedroom with Gwyneth Paltrow and she is getting undressed and he finds her HUGE underwear. He only sees her as this thin beautiful person. So there I am… thinner… and we are there cracking up at this huge pair of skimpy yet GIGANTIC underwear.
Now I know there are many different opinions about the Shallow Hal movie. I have heard it all from “it is degrading to fat people” to “the truth hurts fat people break chairs”. I have seen the movie a few times, and actually will admit was given the movie as a gift. It was a joke I am sure but none the less I can watch it and enjoy it for the entertainment value. Yes making fun of someone based on their weight is probably the last socially acceptable prejudice, but it still happens. I don’t like and I don’t like being the butt of jokes, but clearly this was FUNNY! What I really wanted to share with this story is that during this journey you will find unexpected moments to laugh at yourself. My giant underwear clearly served a purpose to lower my stress levels.
Have you had a moment on your journey where you have laughed at yourself? They say laughter is the best medicine. So make sure you laugh, it burns some good calories… then again so does carrying bags of trash down 3 flights of stairs!