The Words Get In The Way

“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” – Mark Twain

So how many of us have stuck our foot in our mouths on more than one occasion in our lives?  Said something to someone only to realize that it didn’t come out the way you intended, or it was misunderstood.  The english language is difficult, I can only imagine the same things happens all over the world in every language.  to err is human and we all make mistakes.

Lately I have found that I am struggling more than I have before to simply string words together in a way to ensure I am not going to offend someone on their own blogs.  I have friendships offline with several of the commenters on my blog.  We have done coffee or dinner, or even just shared our personal stories in a room full of people.

I read others thoughts and stories on their blogs, and it is indeed like peeking into their diary!  Opening up your life to strangers and friends alike letting them share in your successes and failures, your struggles and worries is so difficult at times.  So where my issue lies is knowing when to hold them up and when to push them forward.

With my friends, those who I see regularly, or converse with at least fairly often I can get a good sence of their limits and just how far I can push without being *that* person.  In my mind I picture a child on a swing set, and I am the person behind them willing to help get them started, and willing to give them that push to help keep them going when it gets tough and you are tired.  I want to help them keep going! How do I learn to do this with those that I do not yet know so well?  How do I learn to balance the support with the push.

Time and again I have heard things from people who when they have “given up” or nearly given up that I come along at just the right time with the right thing to say.  That little push, nudge or reminder is just the right thing.  I enjoy that, that I can do… where I struggle is when I see someone who is perpetually rehashing the same issues over and over again and not forming a plan to overcome them.  I know I can’t fix the worlds problems, but I want to try, I want to show people the door! I neer know whether I should keep telling them, oh keep trying you’ll get it, it will be okay, or put on my suck it up princess hat and kick them in the ass!

It is a tough road to walk.  Words can be like tiny knives cutting someone down, or cutting away the ropes that bind them to their old habits and setting them free.  So as I sit with windows open in my browser unsure of what to say, I am reminded by friends that perhaps when you can’t find the words, letting someone know that you are there is just enough.

So my dear friends… I am still out there… reading and searching for the right words to build you up, and make you strong.

2 thoughts on “The Words Get In The Way

  1. You are a better at “mental” fitness coaching than anyone I know. If you feel you don’t know the person well enough, it’s never a bad idea to just hold back, and be there to listen. I also think you have been where many of us have been, and have overcome more than many will ever have to. Just letting someone know that you understand how they feel can be a comfort, in that they may see themselves as capable of doing everything you have done. I hope that makes sense.

    I love you girl! See you on Thursday! ❤

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