So Tuesday life ends, and begins. There is so much I am worried about. I lack confidence in myself. I am unsure that I will be able to handle the pressures of the job I have taken on. I worry that I am not strong enough to endure the stress without a meltdown. I don’t want to be the girl that messes something up, gets yelled at and then crys in front of her boss… because if I get yelled at I WILL be the girl that crys in front of her boss. Yep I am a crier… and I am not a pretty crier… are any of us?
I have been trying not to count my chickens before they hatch about the job shift I am going through. The person I am training with has been going through some terrible health issues in his life. This is why I am being trained in. My fortune is on the tails of his misfortune and to me that is just not cool. It also means that much of my shifting depends on him.
My boss has not been the most communicative about the change. For example we moved up my start date for this training thing by a week, a little more than a week ago. Which is fine, but with my moving into day shift work I can’t play swing shifter and work my 12 hour weekend shift after spending a few days in the office so I need to play the assertive one and make sure when I go in on Tuesday that he understands that this change was his doing and that he needs to make sure that Saturdays are now his responsibility to cover.
I am also nervous about just being in the office… not the food so much as the fact that I don’t know how it is going to effect my workout routine. I have formulated a plan to hit the gym as soon as I am done work no matter how tired I am. It is only like two blocks off my route home and I think I need to make that commitment to go workout as soon as my shift is over because if I try and do it before work my sleep schedule will start to become all weird again.
The food is a tiny bit worry some though. I mean let’s be honest, I have some food issues. Mainly I am not comfortable eating around most people. I have NEVER eaten any food in front of my boss, or these particular coworkers. I have had a latte from Starbucks or a diet Coke but that is about it. I bought myself a water cup, so I can pound my water while I am in the office. I am unsure what I want to take for lunch, or breakfast. I bought a few yogurts, and some hummus and veggies, but I just don’t know what I am going to be packing.
I know things will workout the way they will. I can only control so much. So I just need to get the first day under my belt and move forward from there. So Tuesday morning think of me as you all head off to work because I am sure I will be wanting to puke from nerves heading off to a job that I know I am qualified for… but am endlessly nervous about.