If Nothing Changes

Last weekend I had a long chat with a dear friend, after many hours of laughter and conversation we both came back around to the point that we have all heard time and again.

If nothing changes, then nothing changes.

Now let it sink in for a moment. Still thinking? What are you thinking about?

 When I think about the statement I think about how complacent I became being comfortable at 250 pounds.  I let myself be comfortable there because, well, I had lost a ton.  Lots of things had changed.  Let’s face it, I was no longer feeling like I was at death’s door.  I was still working out, still eating right, mostly.  Mostly.

There is that word… mostly.  See back when I was 400+ pounds I ate mostly right… just in the wrong amounts.  There was someone on weight watchers that told me the point of their points plan was to get people to eat more fruits and veggies.  There was discussion that no one would ever sit down and eat 3 or 4 apples but you would sit down and eat a bag of chips.  Well I was the person that would eat 3 apples.  They are divine to me, I crave fruits and veggies, and while it isn’t easy to gain weight eating just fruits and veggies it is possible if you eat enough of them.  The sugars add up.

My new job has me all sots of out of whack with my eating.  There are days where I don’t get to eat because we are so busy and I can’t climb out from under the mound of work on my desk, where I am thankful for the ungodly slowness of the 4am hour when it is slow-ish and I can drink my cup of coffee that I brought with me.  There is also the other side of this where it is so slow that I am snacking on all the items in my lunch bag, that are in there because I never know what I will want.

The gym piece of my life is falling back into place.  I left the YWCA in favor of Snap Fitness.  The atmosphere is very different.  I like being able to go at anytime of the day or night, and I am thinking I may need to switch things up a bit again.  I have been going to the gym after work, I enjoy the scenery (read: hottie owner) while I workout, however after a 10 hour day on the desk, plus a half-hour of “other” work in the office, I am just fried.  The last thing I find myself wanting to do is going to the gym.  I am still going… most days.  I need to trade most for all, I need to invoke a negative consequence for myself, but more so than that I need to find that desire again.

So I am hopeful to try cranking my clock around a little bit more again and maybe get my ass into the gym before work… yes… I will go to work a sweaty mess… the nice part is I have that alone time in the morning where I can theoretically clean up in the washroom and make myself presentable again.

Change is needed… change is necessary.  Change is also scary.  What if I really can’t go any further with my weight loss?  I mean, seriously It has been almost a year now of me being in this same place… I am getting a LOT frustrated.

I wanted something in my life to change, I needed something in my life to change,  perhaps I need to just think about taking lean cuisine to work, nothing other than a frozen box of food to the office, then there is no choice.  As the weather gets nicer (read lighter outside) I plan on riding my bike to work, which will add to my activity level, but again… nothing is gong to change unless I make the change happen.

So my plan for now is to try to get on the bike at the gym and rebuild my endurance, or rather tolerance for that god awful seat.  (who designed those things?!) So that I can ride to work everyday, and get going in the right direction.

Something’s gotta give, and if it is my freedom of choice of foods in the office so be it. If it is freedom of choice in the time I go to the gym, because there is no snooze button on the alarm, once it goes off I have to get up and I wont just be sitting around for an hour before work, then so be it.

It is time to Rise Up again.  Nothing changes if nothing changes.

2 thoughts on “If Nothing Changes

  1. “…nothing is gong to change unless I make the change happen.”

    You are wise, and you so clearly know what needs to happen. Can’t wait to see your change, and thanks for the reminder.

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