So…

So please excuse any typos, here I sit blogging from the latest addition to m6y fitness routine the recumbent elliptical, and yes I should be using my arms. No I’m not gonna use them right now.
Where have I been lately some of you might have been asking, ok no one is really asking I’m not so famous as to think anyone notices when I go quiet. I have been around… in likely one of 3 places. Work, home, or… the gym. I am on a many-day streak of hitting the gym getting me sweat on for 30-45 mins a day.
I don’t have to like it, infact I have even adopted what I call the Minnesota Ann rule which I am yet to use where I can go and just sit in the sauna, but I have to go. I missed one workout due to a slip and fall, I’m doing pretty good.
I don’t want to be here, but even more… I don’t want to be there.
Where is there? There is the 400+ pounder that I was that was lonely and isolated and miserable. There is the person that has no drive no desire and no feelings. There is that place where I left the old me to die. So here I am. Not watching. Living.

I am struggling right now with work, my coworker, who has terminal cancer had an accident last week, a slip and fall.  Things for me feel very different now.  I feel like I lost my partner, my backup because in a way I did. And I know I need to stand on my own at work but the mornings get lonely. I long for my friend to laugh with.

I don’t know what else to share really, the days still don’t have enough hours in them for all that I want to do, but I don’t think they ever will.  I have resumed life in the water, sundays I get to take water aerobics which is nice. I miss my old work schedule but I’m adapting to life as a surface dwelling daywalker-sorta.
Be well my friends

4 thoughts on “So…

  1. Blogging and working out. That’s talent and dedication, my friend.

    I am wishing for more hours in the day too. Somehow dreaming that would fix everything. Keep at it! 🙂

  2. It sounds like we are in a similar place lately. Sunday morning water aerobics sounds fun, I’ve always wanted to try that. Perhaps I’ll join you someday?

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