We all know what happens when a healthy-living or weight loss bloggers blog falls silent right? The unfortunate has happened. They have given up, fallen off the wagon and turned tail back to the dark side of the tracks. Many who know me offline have watched me struggle with life in the face of my new job.
So here I am coming clean to you all… once again. My slip ups, turned into a giant landslide back to where I was coming from. I look in the mirror every morning at 3AM when I wake up and I am disgusted by what I see. I don’t see the healthy girl who was there just months ago, I see someone who has given up. I see someone who needs help. I see failure, but I still see that glimmer of hope knowing I can come back from this, because I haven’t given up hope.
So my failure… it isn’t truly failure, it would be failure if I didn’t step up and ask fo help. This week I did something I thought I would never do again. I rejoined Weight watchers. It has been over 16 years since I set foot in a weight watchers center. I vowed after the horrible (read weight gaining) experience I had being forced to go as a teenager I would never use their program again. I realise now as an adult that things change. My calorie counting attempts have become failures the last 6 times I have restarted trying i just stop. i track a few days and give up. I am hopeful that the points tracking is easier. Smaller numbers, accounting for things like fat grams, and for the love of god im not weighing my sandwich thins. That crazy bitch needs to go away.
So yes the scale is going he wrong way, my heart is breaking when I look in the mirror at myself, and I am desperate for a change. So begins another chapter. Failure is not final, nor is success, and it certainly isn’t fatal. Don’t give up on me.