If Only

For the last year I lived here in a world of “if only”.  If only I got a different job, if only I could have weekends off, if only a million different things.  Well guess what, something changed Kris.  You are in a full time job now, you work hard, you have a VERY busy life, and you have had to sacrifice things that you truly had passion for, you no longer get to go to the gym at your leisure for hours at a time, or do water aerobics 4 days a week, or go to trivia, it isn’t conducive to your new life.  Things did not go according to plan, and once again the list of If Only’s becomes pages long.  You are learning that sometimes as much as it pains you sometimes you have to say no.  You have to miss out of things that you love.  Weekdays become a time where you work, workout, cook and sleep.  There is no time for much else right now because of your goals.  If only there were more hours in the day, if only if only.

I have to continually remind myself of what I want out of my life right now… and what my goals are because I seem to have lost focus.  I WANT to be healthy, I WANT to be happy.  Yes I want to be with my friends, but there are other pieces of the puzzle that need to fit in too.

I have to think back to the story from many years ago about the jar of pebbles and sand.  If you want to fill a jar with both pebbles and sand, you can’t put the sand in first then add the rocks, you must build the foundation in the jar with the rocks then add the sand to fill the jar making the most of the space.  there is no other way to make it work and fit everything in.  So like the jar I must put the building blocks into my schedule.  These things are my job (obviously) and my workouts, and my meetings.  They are also things like prepping for meals, so that my battle plans for eating stay on track.  It seems silly but if I start letting one area slide I know it will only be a matter of time before others slide.  I will take help where I can, for example, chopped up fruit, some of it, but not all of it because it just doesn’t hold long enough, or it isn’t worth the price of convenience.

So I am here, taking a personal inventory of my list of if onlys and trying to do away with them one at a time because truly excuses are not going to help me along the way.

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