Day from Hell in Survival Mode.

So Last week I had a day from hell… if I had to pick a day where I was on a path for a disaster of derailment, Thursday would have been it.  I was swamped at work all day.  I had a workout scheduled on the books.  I was tired by the end of the day.  Worn out, and just so ready to call it a day.  I got in my car and headed the opposite direction from my house.

There are several ways I can go to get to the gym from my office and I knew if I went past my house, I would be on auto-pilot and just go home.  Looking back at the day, the self care involved in going to the pool was likely the best thing for me after the day I had already had… but I would have liked the events that followed to have not occurred.

I completed my workout, which included a little bit of jogging with the current in the pool.  I am after-all slowly training to walk a 5k, and I would love to not be last! Anyway the workouts are going ok, although I need to think about saving for some kind of waterproof mp3 player.  I got to the parking lot, approached my car and started slipping on the ice.   I fell most of the way to the ground grabbed the handle to my car-door to stop me from completely slamming into the ground full-impact, my phone bounced out of my pocket and fell to the ground and you guessed it. Shattered the screen.  I wasn’t far from Best Buy, who I have my phone protection plan from, so I went there, which meant I wasn’t on schedule for dinner and bed.  After waiting at Best Buy they told me if I needed the data (the 180+ photos off my phone) I would have to go home and back it up.  So i sadly walked to my car, grumpy hormonal and emotional.  I got to my car, being extra careful not to slip again… I look at my tire and see something shiny.

There was a screw in my tire.  FUCK! I pushed on the tire it was still, as far as I could tell, fully inflated.  I drove the opposite direction from home to Costco where I bought the tires.  They told me it would be 1.5 to 2 hours to get my tire fixed.  At this point I was in toddler-meltdown mode.  I said fine, just fix it.  I grabbed a cart and started wandering the store hungry and crying.

Sample ladies… sampling bananas foster trifle.  Oh lord help me.  I walked past, and I walked past again.  She was just across from the cuties.  I grabbed a bag, and a cooked chicken, and a container of blueberries.  I cried as I walked.  I put the chicken back knowing I wouldn’t eat the whole thing before it went bad this late in the week.  I grabbed some cooked shrimp with cocktail sauce you get an insane amount of shrimp for a low number of points on Weight Watchers.  I was trying to keep my head about me.  I sampled a small cube of Tillamook cheddar cheese and my phone rang.  More bad news, the tire center has now broken the stud on my wheel. FUCK ME! They tell me about 10 more mins and my car will be ready to go.  I just start crying again.

I don’t even want to check out at this point.  I just want to leave my cart and go home.  I grab some allergy meds, and a box of the Fiber One chocolate chip cookie brownies that they finally started carrying (they carried the brownies, but not the chocolate chip cookie kind before) and headed for the registers.  Small talk with the cashier ended with him being extremely happy his day was better than mine.  I was to the point where my small talk gene was just shot.

I went and got my car and wanted nothing more than junk food.  I had not really had that much to eat during the day, I could have grabbed a burger or something.  I drove home, passing a crap-ton of fast food places.   Including on the last few blocks, just before my house, a Burger King and a McDonald’s.  I kept telling myself You do not really want those things, you are working toward being healthy, this is stress induced.  You do not need to eat a burger just because it is quick.  You owe it to yourself to take the time to sit and eat your food.

I got home and sat down on my bed and cried.  Took my medicine for the pain that was growing in my neck and back, and I went to the kitchen.  I weighed out my shrimp, 6 ounces worth, I grabbed some fruit, and a skinny cow chocolate bar.  I sat quietly, and just wallowed in all the bad shit that had happened.  I wallowed in the jury duty notice I had gotten the day before.  I cried over all the shitty stuff that happened that day, and then I tried to find the good things that happened.

1.) The day was over, I was about to crawl into my warm bed

2.) I had insurance on my cellphone, even though I had broken it, it would not cost me anything to get it fixed.

3.)The tire that had a screw in it was not flat when I found it, however if I had not found it, it could have/would have been flat at 3:30 am the next morning when I went to go to work and I’d have been late and had to change it in the snow.

4.)I stayed in control of what I ate despite a bad situation where I would have and could have easily just grabbed a pizza or burger before.

5.)I stuck to my plans to workout.

So I slept through the night, mostly.  I woke up Friday, and greeted the new day for what it was a new day.  I tried singing to my coffee syrup.  I went into the day with a positive attitude, it was a rough day too, but it was one day.  I continue to babystep my way along.  Proud that I survived a shitty day.

2 thoughts on “Day from Hell in Survival Mode.

  1. OK I apologize that I am only now catching up on blogs, but I remember you telling me about this day. Somehow, I still didn’t pick up on what a great job you did. You brought your focus back to gratitude and did not drown your anger and frustration in food. You, my dear, are excellent!

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