Cleaning House

So in getting myself set up for success I am slowly cleaning all the crap out of my pantry.  I am coming to terms with the fact that I am better for listening to my body.  Fighting the transition is silly, embracing the change is the only logical and rational thing to do.  As I dump boxes of Fiber One bars into a Target bag, and throw 100 calorie packs, and 2-point weight watchers bars into bags to give away I am faced with a dilemma.

Is it better to throw this stuff out, or give it away? I sent some of my Weight Watchers products to new homes already.  Friends that I know like the products, but won’t likely over indulge in them.  I have some bars left in my car back in the trunk where I can’t just grab one peel it and shove it into my mouth without thinking about the consequences.

I bring bags of my stuff to the office, spread them out on the snack table and watch and people snatch things from it like it were a magical wonderland! Skittles, Special K Crackers, granola things, reduced fat peanut butter, cookies, all dumped there sitting there like a treasure trove.  All the things that I adore, all the things that I like because they came from my home.

The torture only lasts about a day or so per bag, In general free food won’t last long in my office.  I purged the pantry of the jar of biscoff cookie spread today… it is still sitting on the table… no one knows what to do with it… if noone eats it or takes it by tomorrow I will throw it away.  Am I doing the wrong thing by bringing these things to my office?  I can’t donate open packages to a food shelf so my other option really is to just throw them out.

I feel like I am feeding/enabling people to binge on food by bringing all of this stuff to the office.  I know there is one gentleman who works for us who can use the food, and always asks if it is okay for him to take an extra one for later.  He knows where all the free meals in the city are, he has had a hard life.  I feel for him, he is why I bring the food here… but I wonder if on some level I am not trying to make everyone else fat?  I know that isn’t my intention… but could it be??

I guess in the end I know I am doing what is best for me, and that is something I keep doing.  I am not going to force anyone to eat the snacks on the table, and I am content to toss them in the dumpster at the end of the day.  I am slowly setting up my home environment for success as things change.  Next step is to finish setting my work environment up.  I dug out my extra Brita pitcher, that will be coming here to work this week.  I don’t like the taste of city tap water, and my Bobble Bottle is great, but once it’s empty I have no cold water left.

I guess the phrase adapt or die comes to mind when I think about where I am on my path right now.  I certainly don’t want to go back to feeling like I did when I was 430 pounds, and I certainly know I don’t want to feel like crap.  So we put our heads down and push through and find the upside.  Bacon and dippy eggs for breakfast with a side of asparagus? Sounds like a silver lining to me!

Now I just have to finish the cabinet purge, get the community snack table cleared and I will be in the clear 😀

3 thoughts on “Cleaning House

  1. I think you hit the nail on the head, you’re not forcing anyone to eat what you bring! Everyone is accountable for the decisions they make. Good luck, sounds like you’re on the right track 🙂

    • I appreciate this Christina! I guess I worry that I put myself in the position of an enabler, but I keep stepping back to let myself know that I do what is best for me. I do what I need to do and I expect everyone else to do what they need to do. Life isn’t a competition. 🙂

  2. Oh honey – you aren’t trying to make everyone else fat, shut that voice down! The decisions others make are exactly that: theirs. Not yours. Making that food available is better than throwing it away, and praise your heart that feels so deeply for the man who is hungry. This is how we serve the world. Way to sculpt your environment for what serves YOU!

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