Tibial Torsion

*deep sigh* Another diagnosis. Another page added to my book of shit gone wrong, shit that should have been caught 20 years ago. Something that could have been treated then, that now is something I just have to deal with.

My head is in a very ugly space right now. VERY ugly.  I went for a Physical Therapy session last night after work, they had an opening, and I took it.  A manual physical therapist, ok, he felt my joints, which no surprise move very well and decided that my plantar fasciitis is being caused by something else.  External Tibial Torsion.  *sigh* Turns out I have been having this issue since I was a kid.  The loss of inward rotation that has been chalked up to all hip surgeries I had is NOT actually the issue with my feet turning outward.

While this is not the end of the world, it is part of why I have struggled so much with running, and why the elliptical is and continues to be a better choice for me.  There will very likely be no running in my future.  My physical therapy is now being shifted from manual therapy to a running therapist in hopes that he may be able to provide better insight into getting me back into working shape.  As my friends saw on Sunday I am NOT in any kind of fighting shape, so to speak.

The grip of what I want to call “medical depression” just seems to have grabbed ahold of me and wont let go.  While none of these things going on with me is fatal I just can’t seem to get ahead of anything.  Everytime I turn around it is something else going wrong, this is why I stopped visiting doctors before, because it was just one thing after another.  While the human body is fascinating in the way it is all connected, I cry because it seems like there is no end to the connection, no big answer as to what is wrong with me.  What is wrong with me is I am a walking talking living disaster.

So I keep pushing along… for now… but I am really getting tired of more questions than answers but I keep pushing… fingers crossed, the end of new things the resolution of all the stuff wrong so far can’t be that far off.

4 thoughts on “Tibial Torsion

  1. Kris, I’m here to tell you that it can get better. I suffered several years of excruciating back pain. MRI. Crying visits to the neurologist and chiropractor. Steroid injections. EXPENSIVE PT (which didn’t help me, but I hope it helps you). It can get better. Mine was mostly STRESS and it didn’t really REALLY start to go away until I a) got a different job in my company, and b) graduated my grad school program. Oh, and lots of counseling. As you look to straightening out your physical condition, continue to keep an eye on your emotional condition. Depression from pain is real, and it can be helped, because without help, the cycle will feed on itself. Nothing you don’t already know, I ‘m sure. But a reminder to seek help. Friends are great for venting, but therapy is crucial to healing. I’m pulling for you, and if there is anything I can do, please let me know. ❤

    • The PT I did for my back at the end of last year did no good, even the therapist was stumped as to what to do.
      I am trying to keep an eye on my emotional/mental condition as I do see it degrading as I stay in this job longer and longer. I am working on a plan that should help get me out of the space I am in, but like everything else change takes time. I appreciate the reminder, I have been thinking a bit about therapy, as I hear some offer weekend sessions and that is about the only free time I seem to have anymore. Anything that helps get me closer to feeling better overall is worth the sacrifice at this point. Thanks hon!

  2. I’m so sorry that you’re going through all of this. I truly am. I don’t have the physical issues wrong with me, but I have the mental issues (does that make me sound crazy). It’s something that I have been dealing with since I was little and never knew until about 4 years ago. I know what it feels like to think you wasted all this time. It could’ve been fixed a long time ago. Maybe you would feel better. Maybe you wouldn’t have had to suffer. The truth is you’ll never know what things might have been like. Look at what you can fix. You now know what the issue is. Be grateful for that. Some people may be suffering the same as you, but won’t go to the doctor, can’t afford a good doctor. They might not have had the opportunity you had to keep searching for the right answer. We are always here to listen to you vent… I’m here if you ever need someone. I know at times, life doesn’t seem fair, but I have all the faith that you are going to get and feel better. Hang in there. Don’t let those negative thoughts over power the good.

    • Thanks for the reminder, It is hard sometimes to just keep going. The what if’s and the what could have beens weigh on my mind in the moments when I am alone at work, or trying to sleep. I know I am blessed to have landed here in Minnesota with the chances I have had to uncover so many of the medical anomalies that they have found with me, but sometimes I just wonder how things that are so obvious (things that I’ve seen in medical research, or god forbid on google when looking for WHY i hurt, things I had asked about(!!)) went ignored for so long.
      It makes me distrust the system as a whole, and makes me want to go back and yell and scream and act like a child to the doctors who told me time and again that things were all in my head, or that it was only my weight that was an issue etc. While it is a victory that there is something wrong, it still is something wrong, a starting point, but it still sucks.

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