Take a seat, I have a confession.

Thanks. *scrunches face awkward silence* So I have a confession to make.  I have not been completely transparent for the last bit on my blog.  Everyone knows that I have been struggling with food prep, meal planning and my schedule.  I have been hanging onto the end of  my rope.  I tied a knot in it, I am kicking my feet, using the tiny bits of nails I have to dig in and gain back my lost ground.  I have mentioned that just before fitbloggin I went for a bariatric surgery consult. I cancelled my followup because I didn’t have time with my job to do all the work that was required, meetings with therapists, and nutritionists etc.

I was also a bit taken back from my consult that the expected results from my surgery were to land me back in the 200-250 range.   To be fair they never know for sure where you will end up from a surgery, but based on how large I was, looking through my records he actually found a recorded weight close to 450(!) that my expected outcomes would likely land me at 200-250.  Based on my body structure, (large frame) and extra skin, and a million other things the idea of surgery right now has been shelved.  Back onto the options for a later date it goes, and refocused I go… but what is a girl to do? Give up? Continue to spiral upward in this new job?

I don’t have time to workout like I had been, for several hours at a time, nor do I have time to cook my meals at home everyday.  Not from scratch, not the way I used to.  I also have that wonderful compulsion that kicks in when I start with the foodscale again.  Calculating calories down to the gram of foods… not healthy.  I love my shakes, but that can’t be healthy, I am not getting veggies, or fiber for that matter at those meals…

About the first week in August I was reaching my breaking point… knowing that I can’t continue on the way things are.  My body is in pain, my stamina is suffering, my mental state is… well just yeah… it’s just not great.  I sat down with Robb and looked at options.   I was packing my lunch everyday for work, but it wasn’t always healthy.  I was kinda planning dinner, but we weren’t sticking to it.  Things were slipping away.  Portions were starting to get out of control, and he just wanted things to be easier for me.  He was supportive of me doing whatever I need to do to be successful.

I researched the different options available, sadly a few of the prepackaged food delivery services that I looked into aren’t available in Minneapolis.  *wahwah*  I looked into Seattle Sutton, I know several people who have used their meal services with great success and have truly enjoyed the foods.  With them you pick it up twice a week and have no control over the foods that you get, it is a preset menu that from what I am told is on a six-week rotating cycle.  I have a few food allergies and sensitivities and the lack of ability to control what I am eating kind of turns me off to this plan.  What I like about this idea though is that it is fresh food not frozen.

The other option that I researched was the Nutrisystem plan.  Please don’t give me that look ok, a lot seems to have changed since your grandmother tried it!  There are two sides to Nutrisystem these days, frozen and shelf-stable.  You can customize what you want to receive in your plan, there is a wide variety of things from breakfast burritos, waffles, or cereal for the morning, pasta, sandwiches, or bars for lunch and tons of options for dinner, stuff like stuffed chicken breast!  You even get dessert/snack options things like icecream sandwiches or popcorn.

As someone that never really knows what they want to eat until the day of, and being able to avoid things that I can’t eat (like walnuts) Nutrisystem seemed like a better fit.  I placed my order online through the web, waited for the shipping confirmation and the shelf stable stuff arrived on Tuesday the 13th of August.  I started that night.  The plan is pretty dummy proof, it tells you how much of what to add… add “power fuels” to breakfast, morning snack, and lunch these are things like an egg, a yogurt, lean chicken, that sort of thing.  I can also still have my shake as a power fuel with breakfast if I like.  You also add a SmartCarb to your afternoon snack, and dinner.  It tells you how much of the suggested things to add, these are designed to sustain your energy a bit longer, so things like a banana, corn, green peas.  Veggies are “unlimited” just like many other plans, but still counted and tracked.  I add veggies to just about every meal, for example if lunch is the cheesy mashed potato cup I add broccoli to it.  YUM!

So Tuesday (the 13th) marked a week since my initial weigh in, which I did at night, after eating and drinking normally during the day.  I weighed in up about 74 pounds from my lowest weight.  It was a true blow to my system, but I know why it happened.  There are a million reasons, and excuses.  Most of them related to my current employment status.  50+ hours a week, with no breaks for lunch, or fresh air, at a desk does not a healthy lifestyle make.

I weighed in again on Tuesday the 20th, after a full day of eating normally and hydrating etc and was surprised to find that my weight has gone down.  2.7 pounds lost on the first week.  I am expecting far smaller losses in the subsequent weeks, as that is generally the trend a big loss the first week and them smaller losses along the way but I’ll take it.

Along with the diet changes I am pushing the gym aspect of things.  I am forcing myself into the gym for three 30 min cardio sessions a week.  I don’t have to like it, I just have to do it, and on the heels of my half marathon announcement I NEED to do it.  I also need to learn how to use the weight machines at the gym.  I am so intimidated by them, but I want to use them, and I don’t want to look like an idiot doing it, so perhaps I will invest in a personal trainer session or two.

So yeah, I am sorry for not being more transparent with y’all.  It was a hard decision for me to come to that I needed to switch to a pre-packaged meal service for now but I just need one less thing to focus on.  I guess I am just looking at it as one more tool in my toolbox, not a forever fix but as a temporary helper until I can gain some momentum back.

Have any of you done a prepackaged meal system?  Nurtrisystem? SeattleSutton? HelloFresh? I am sure there are about a million of them out there, what is your experience with them.  Have you ever thought about it?  I will be documenting some of the successes and Fails as far as my opinions on the foods I taste.  So far all but one of the foods have been great! Just remember the opinions are my own, results may vary, and no they aren’t paying for this, and have no idea I plan on writing about it.

2 thoughts on “Take a seat, I have a confession.

  1. Hey, no shame in this at all! You do what you need to do to keep yourself sane and make progress towards being healthier. Strength training is SO important to weight loss though and will help limit extra skin as you lose. Definitely start doing it!!

    • My fear of strength training comes from the ehlers-danlos. They basically put the fear of god into me when they labeled me with the disorder, but I figure that I need to strengthen my joints at the very least. Plus if my body had the ability to carry all that weight around for so long it should be able to do at least a minimal amount of strengthening now 🙂
      For the last few years the only strength training I have done has been in the water… it is time to branch out 😀

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