Friday got off to a very rocky start. I was driving to the gym before work doing about 65MPH when my car decided to decelerate quickly to about 20-30 MPH. I was thankfully in the right hand land, threw on my four ways as the tractor trailer behind me neared and my car decided to remember how to accelerate again. I exited at the ramp that was thankfully very close and pulled into a flat parking lot over 4 spaces knowing I want going anywhere since the engine light and Trac Off light were now displaying on my dashboard.
I gathered all the info I needed (where I was, where I needed to be towed to policy numbers etc )and began to call for help. Once I got the tow-truck in route I headed into the Byerlys store for something to drink. There is a Caribou Coffee inside most of these stores. I got myself a cafe au lait and walked around the store. It was going to be at least an hour before my tow arrived. I wanted to get some activity in. After all usually by 8:00 on a Friday morning I have 7000 steps thanks to my YMCA class. That wasn’t going to happen.
I made the misstep of walking to the bakery section. See earlier in the week I had made the choice to have a cupcake. Wheat, dairy, sugar, fat delicious hit on all the sensors amazingness of chocolate cupcake with white chocolate cheesecake raspberry frosting and a raspberry jammy filling. Since I ate that cupcake all I have done is think about that cupcake day and night and try and get another fix. This is not a good thing! It shows me how addictive the combo is to me.
Eyeballed the fresh doughnuts in the case. I looked at the wide variety of cupcakes in the window. My brain kept uttering the phrase it’s ok eat it, you deserve it. You’re having a bad day. You’ve got weekly weight watchers points for this reason. I turned tail, grabbed a warm 1 liter bottle of Coke Zero for $.99 and proceeded to the checkout. No I was having coffee, which I planned for.
No cupcakes. No doughnuts. Those are not what weeklies are for. I walked back to my car. I thought more about those effin cupcakes. I thought about last months weight watchers routine. Is it worth it. The cupcake I had before was worth it. It was not eaten in an emotional place. It was eaten because I was in the mood for a cupcake, it was exactly what I wanted, specifically. I didn’t even use weekly a on it. What made the cupcakes and doughnuts in the case Friday morning not worth it then? This took thought, it was because I wanted them to soothe stress. To ease frustrations that were out of my control.
There are always going to be situations that catch us off guard. Whether it’s a cupcake crisis, or a lack of plans for dinner. Situations change and we can’t always be in control. I am slowly learning to keep looking deeper at every decision I make in hopes of finding out more about myself.
Oh and eventually I got towed to the dealership by a super nice tow-truck driver. I made it to work where everyone was super sweet. I was being very hard on myself for being late. I felt like a failure even though things were out of my control. There is a bad sensor in my has pedal, they had been chasing this issue in my scion IQ since I got it in June. Finally the parts have been ordered to fix it!