Unstable Footing

So yesterday my contract ended at work. It ended early, but it wasn’t due to anything other than there being no more work. The writing was on the wall in the last week or two, as tasks wrapped up and nothing new was available to work on. It still stings to pack up your desk and have to start the job search again, however I am doing my best to stay positive.
I sent a HELP ME text out to my friend Liz when I got the news, as well as a few other friends to help me numb the blow. I was reaching for support, I reached out to my network, and I was so thankful that despite my newfound unstable footing I had people to turn to that could reassure me I will again land on my feet.
I know I will land on my feet, I always do. I have started and restarted my life before. I jumped into this last job knowing that it was a contract and it would end, but I wasn’t sure when. Robb is very concerned with our upcoming wedding that our lives are about to fall apart. Bills are about to come in for things like the caterer, and a few other things, but I know we will be okay.
I have been a on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for the last, well 24-hours now. I think it’s okay to feel the feelings. I did go off the rails a little bit last night, and didn’t track my food. Dinner included a cupcake and a big bowl of rice. No protein, no veggies, all carbs and crap. I didn’t care I just wanted the sugar rush. I acknowledged what I was doing, while I was doing it.
I am allowing myself to feel the feelings, grieve the loss of the job, but I am also already pounding the pavement for a new position. I am not completely sure what I want to do with my life. I have the information for a career counselor and I have a book on hold that was suggested to me about figuring out what I want to do. I KNOW I am going to be okay, that Robb and I will be okay. Jobs come and go and that I have the talent and the drive to succeed.
I know however that life is unstable right now. I feel fear, and hope for the future. I very much know that with one door closing others are opening I just need to look for the light. I keep looking for the light and I plan to do so.

6 thoughts on “Unstable Footing

  1. Hugs to you, friend! I know you will be gainfully employed again soon, but in the meantime I will send you lots of positive vibes. Hang in there and you know where to find me if you need to vent.

    • Thank you! It was a bit of a surprise, but not a total surprise. I thought I had at least a few more weeks. I’m remaining as positive as possible, and putting my best foot forward.
      Thanks for the positive thoughts! They really do make a difference!!

  2. Lots of time to work on the wedding!

    While the timing is unfortunate, I always found that when I lost one job, another one came along that was better!

    A mourning period of a week seems normal, so you can go off the rails a couple more times. It’s probably emotionally good for you! Hope you’re feeling more stable soon.


    • Thanks Deb! I know something better WILL come along. I am doing my very best to strike a balance of self care and moving forward right now. Sticking to a routine, while not quite what it was still a routine. Including working out and having an alarm/wake time everyday I think will help keep me from an untimely demise.
      Thanks for the words of encouragement, I know I will come out the other side better for it all.

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