Cupcake Crisis 2014

Friday got off to a very rocky start. I was driving to the gym before work doing about 65MPH when my car decided to decelerate quickly to about 20-30 MPH. I was thankfully in the right hand land, threw on my four ways as the tractor trailer behind me neared and my car decided to remember how to accelerate again. I exited at the ramp that was thankfully very close and pulled into a flat parking lot over 4 spaces knowing I want going anywhere since the engine light and Trac Off light were now displaying on my dashboard.
I gathered all the info I needed (where I was, where I needed to be towed to policy numbers etc )and began to call for help. Once I got the tow-truck in route I headed into the Byerlys store for something to drink. There is a Caribou Coffee inside most of these stores. I got myself a cafe au lait and walked around the store. It was going to be at least an hour before my tow arrived. I wanted to get some activity in. After all usually by 8:00 on a Friday morning I have 7000 steps thanks to my YMCA class. That wasn’t going to happen.
I made the misstep of walking to the bakery section. See earlier in the week I had made the choice to have a cupcake. Wheat, dairy, sugar, fat delicious hit on all the sensors amazingness of chocolate cupcake with white chocolate cheesecake raspberry frosting and a raspberry jammy filling. Since I ate that cupcake all I have done is think about that cupcake day and night and try and get another fix. This is not a good thing! It shows me how addictive the combo is to me.
Eyeballed the fresh doughnuts in the case. I looked at the wide variety of cupcakes in the window. My brain kept uttering the phrase it’s ok eat it, you deserve it. You’re having a bad day. You’ve got weekly weight watchers points for this reason. I turned tail, grabbed a warm 1 liter bottle of Coke Zero for $.99 and proceeded to the checkout. No I was having coffee, which I planned for.
No cupcakes. No doughnuts. Those are not what weeklies are for. I walked back to my car. I thought more about those effin cupcakes. I thought about last months weight watchers routine. Is it worth it. The cupcake I had before was worth it. It was not eaten in an emotional place. It was eaten because I was in the mood for a cupcake, it was exactly what I wanted, specifically. I didn’t even use weekly a on it. What made the cupcakes and doughnuts in the case Friday morning not worth it then? This took thought, it was because I wanted them to soothe stress. To ease frustrations that were out of my control.
There are always going to be situations that catch us off guard. Whether it’s a cupcake crisis, or a lack of plans for dinner. Situations change and we can’t always be in control. I am slowly learning to keep looking deeper at every decision I make in hopes of finding out more about myself.

Oh and eventually I got towed to the dealership by a super nice tow-truck driver. I made it to work where everyone was super sweet. I was being very hard on myself for being late. I felt like a failure even though things were out of my control. There is a bad sensor in my has pedal, they had been chasing this issue in my scion IQ since I got it in June. Finally the parts have been ordered to fix it!

Twofer Weekend

SO this weekend I emerged from hiding.  I ventured back into the light of blog-land this week, and with that I have also ventured back into the world of working out, even if I am fighting injury.

I have left my YWCA behind, well kind-of.  My contract with them runs until April, however their facility is sadly not meeting my needs.  If you remember back to last year I left them and went to SNAP fitness.  I was in search of something that worked better with my schedule, something that worked better for me.  It did not end well, there was a variety of contributing factors were there, sub-par equipment and no pool ended up leaving me hurting, and in the end I was not working out.  I ended that relationship, after a bit of hassle but not too much, and went back to the YW.

Now the swim team and crappy hours of availability keep me from the water, where I need to be to heal, where I need to be to regain my strength, and stability.  It saddens me to leave behind the place where I bonded with so many wonderful people, where I found myself, and my strength.  However, like many things in my life, on this journey… I have outgrown it.

Many of my friends have heard my plight, they have heard my venting of frustration, and seen my tears of pain.  After breakfast with Liz a few weeks ago (2 weekends at most, I knew there was really only one answer for me.

I am now a dual membership holder until my YWCA membership contract expires in April.  With the reduced joiner fee it ends up being cheaper to pay the next few months plus it is a monthly contract.  There are so freakin’ many YMCA locations across the metro it’s amazing!   So Saturday morning after my WW meeting I became a member at the YMCA.  I went right from sign-up into the vortex pool! While the vortex doesn’t operate at all times it is available a lot more than the pool I currently have access to.  In fact, the pools there in general are a lot more accessible, despite it being further away.

I weighted my options on this decision, cost vs. benefit analysis, if you may and waiting until April just did not seem like a logical choice.  due to my health degrading at the rate it seems to I weighted money as a lower factor in the equation, and even if I hadn’t this move had to be made.  With my PT not working, my strength and balance degrading, and my weight spiraling out of control this is my only option.  FAILURE AND POSTPONEMENT ARE NOT OPTIONS!

So here I am back in the saddle… err.. poodle…. errrr…. Back to basics.   Trying my hardest to live the life I aspire to.