And they lived happily ever after.

Thats where the blog ends folks. Or so I was deeply contemplating. I mean, after the termination of my job just before the wedding my footing was shaken. Deeply shaken. I wondered, no I vocalized to my now husband that I had made a mistake in leaving my old job, you know that job the one that sent my healthy lifestyle backward.
I was jumping, spreading my wings trying to follow through on the goal that I had set for myself with my 2014 word of the year. Do you remember that word? Honor… It’s been ringing through my mind the last week or so since it is time to either set a goal, make a resolution or pick a new word for the year.
Looking back at 2014 did I do enough to deem my year a “success” and who would be the final judge of that. I left the job where I was not being challenged in a way that was positive. The job I was in on January 1, 2014 was one that was not a positive one for me in many ways. It was slowly killing me, mentally, physically, emotionally. I jumped, and didn’t land in a place that was the right fit unfortunately. Did that mean that I wasn’t honoring myself or was I still honoring myself because I continued to fight to find something new, instead of jut going back to what I knew? Was I tempted to return to my old ways? Yes, mildly and for the wrong reasons.
I pushed forward in 2014, searching for a job where I would be part of something bigger, where there would be value placed on my suggestions. I found a job with a company where I am happy, and I feel that I will be able to make a career for myself. A company with values that match mine and a mission and vision that I can support.
In 2014 I of course got married, Robb and I fortified our now 10 years together surrounded by friends and family. We weren’t very traditional about it. We brought together our families, because it was important to them to be there, and our chosen family because it was important for us to have them here. Laughter was what I wanted most from our day, and bacon… both of which were plentiful that September morning.

So why the though of leaving the blog behind? I have kind of lost my voice during the last year. I have been so focused on trying to honor myself, I have felt that I didn’t need to share as much. That said, January 3, 2015 would have been the 3rd anniversary of my taking the job that I think was the biggest backward step in my healthy journey. I need to go back to square one as I can feel my health, what is left of it slipping away from me.

In November I got another medical diagnosis, PCOS. Not surprised, it was always lurking in the background, likely made worse by the rapid weight loss that happened before. So I need to start meal planning, exercise, water all of it. It all needs to start again and if I become obsessive I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it.

So in the trend of New Years Posts… and being undecided about how much I will blog 2015’s word of the year is not a word, but a phrase. Make choices based in intention not from habit.

Happy 2015 friends!

Then She Jumped

That’s right folks, no more waiting for the train… I have jumped. I am no longer with my former employer. I gave my notice at my last job on Monday March 3, 2014. I worked 50 hours that week with the company. It was a long week, filled with a lot of surprising things coming to light. I never knew just how much of an impact I had on the lives of some of my coworkers there. I am sad to leave behind some truly great people there. I will miss my drivers, who in my mind were my family. It was however time. I tried to get some one on one time with a few of the guys whom I had come to know better than others. My departure was sudden, almost as though the universe said, now or never. Shocked and stunned I tried to keep my secret from spreading through the workplace the first few days, but before long everyone knew and I was training in my replacement.
I found joy in training my replacement. My joy was not due to the fact that I was getting out of there, though moving forward did make me happy. I found that passing my knowledge onto someone else was something that I loved! As I passed on my secrets to success I felt things breaking apart inside of me, I was freeing myself from all of the feelings that I had been stuffing down inside from the last several years.
I spent all of last week working two jobs. I would work 3 hours every morning training my replacement, then head off to my new job and spend 8 hours a day there. So I had gone from a 50 hour a week job, to a 55 hour week! Yikes!!! Want to know a secret? I felt better working those 55 hours (even if I was dead tired at the end of the day, and barely saw Robb) than I did when I was working 50 hours a week. Being a teacher to my replacement was amazing, and for the first time in the over two years I was at that job I was told I was doing a good job. People listened as I taught the newbie the ropes. He gobbled up the information that I trickled out at a pace adapted for the speed he was learning at. Each day we covered a little more material, and I would teach new tricks and tips. I let the struggle happen but I wouldn’t let it get so bad that anyone was drowning. I felt confident, and passionate about what I was doing. I finally was finding enjoyment in my job again… just in time to leave.
My new job is an amazing opportunity to learn in. I am working with a great team, and I am getting to do things that are challenging and new, but also things that I am passionate about. I am SO EXCITED! I have normal working hours, meaning I am not getting up at 3am anymore!! This is going to allow me to have more flexibility in doing things like getting a gym routine back into play that isn’t while I am running on fumes. There is a YMCA location not far from my work. I can’t wait to get this ball rolling and see where it takes me.
I just have to say thank you to all my friends that stood by me through all of the self-doubt and fear I had looking for a new job. I have to thank everyone for the confidence they have in me, and for showing me just how much more I was worth.
I will miss the relationships that I forged with customers and I will miss my drivers but they know how to reach me, and it is a two way street. After all this is the age of technology.