And they lived happily ever after.

Thats where the blog ends folks. Or so I was deeply contemplating. I mean, after the termination of my job just before the wedding my footing was shaken. Deeply shaken. I wondered, no I vocalized to my now husband that I had made a mistake in leaving my old job, you know that job the one that sent my healthy lifestyle backward.
I was jumping, spreading my wings trying to follow through on the goal that I had set for myself with my 2014 word of the year. Do you remember that word? Honor… It’s been ringing through my mind the last week or so since it is time to either set a goal, make a resolution or pick a new word for the year.
Looking back at 2014 did I do enough to deem my year a “success” and who would be the final judge of that. I left the job where I was not being challenged in a way that was positive. The job I was in on January 1, 2014 was one that was not a positive one for me in many ways. It was slowly killing me, mentally, physically, emotionally. I jumped, and didn’t land in a place that was the right fit unfortunately. Did that mean that I wasn’t honoring myself or was I still honoring myself because I continued to fight to find something new, instead of jut going back to what I knew? Was I tempted to return to my old ways? Yes, mildly and for the wrong reasons.
I pushed forward in 2014, searching for a job where I would be part of something bigger, where there would be value placed on my suggestions. I found a job with a company where I am happy, and I feel that I will be able to make a career for myself. A company with values that match mine and a mission and vision that I can support.
In 2014 I of course got married, Robb and I fortified our now 10 years together surrounded by friends and family. We weren’t very traditional about it. We brought together our families, because it was important to them to be there, and our chosen family because it was important for us to have them here. Laughter was what I wanted most from our day, and bacon… both of which were plentiful that September morning.

So why the though of leaving the blog behind? I have kind of lost my voice during the last year. I have been so focused on trying to honor myself, I have felt that I didn’t need to share as much. That said, January 3, 2015 would have been the 3rd anniversary of my taking the job that I think was the biggest backward step in my healthy journey. I need to go back to square one as I can feel my health, what is left of it slipping away from me.

In November I got another medical diagnosis, PCOS. Not surprised, it was always lurking in the background, likely made worse by the rapid weight loss that happened before. So I need to start meal planning, exercise, water all of it. It all needs to start again and if I become obsessive I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it.

So in the trend of New Years Posts… and being undecided about how much I will blog 2015’s word of the year is not a word, but a phrase. Make choices based in intention not from habit.

Happy 2015 friends!

Honor

So the end of 2013 left me with a lot of things on my mind. I was being pushed by a few people about my beliefs regarding my gluten free and dairy free lifestyle choice, and testing to see if these were in-fact actual issues for me. The truth is, I am not going to pursue the expense of medical testing for these things. There has been enough evidence about wheat/gluten being linked to fibromyalgia and I have felt a significant enough change in my body since giving it up that I KNOW i have an intolerance to it.

As far as the dairy issues… I miss cheese, and yogurt, and cheese. Did I mention cheese? I have been sick since giving up dairy, however I got better much faster than I usually do. I don’t have any basis for my observation on this other than without things like yogurt, cheese, ice cream, milk, butter and other dairy products I got better quicker. There are some substitutes out there that have proven to be helpful for me in the transition. Things like Amy’s frozen meals that are Gluten Free and Dairy free for the nights and lunches that I just can’t find time to make… (they have a gluten free dairy free Mac & cheese that is just awesome that is made with Daiya Cheese), Daiya cheese which melts and stretches, I’ve not eaten it straight but the cheddar shreds are great on chili, and I had a bit of the Provolone style slices on a turkey sandwich, it isn’t the same but nothing will be. Their frozen pizza is nice as well. Of course there are about 100 kinds of milk substitutes out there, currently I have light silk vanilla soy-milk and unsweetened almond/coconut blend in my fridge.

So challenge me if you will, I am not going to be re-adding them back into my diet to “see how they make me feel” I had a few bites of something that had some wheat flour in it on accident about a week ago, and I just didn’t feel well after it. I have actual food allergies to walnuts, scratchy throat etc that gets worse with each exposure, I’m not out there adding them in seeing how I do… I have intolerances to alcohol, it makes me uncomfortable to drink. I get red-faced and covered in rashes that itch and burn after I drink pretty much any alcohol. I am not out imbibing, it is very rare that I drink any alcohol because it is a visceral reaction, and it is genetic. I may choose to have something containing wheat or dairy on a special occasion, like say I am on vacation, or something is truly so good that I want to try it but that will be my decision. I will continue to bring my own food to holiday gatherings, I appreciate people trying to accommodate my dietary needs, but it is easier in my mind to just take care of myself. I don’t like to inconvenience others, whether it actually is or isn’t I need to have control over by body and what I am putting into it.

This brings me to 2014… the year without a resolution. Well not exactly. I guess I am jumping on the trendy bandwagon this year and giving up an actual resolution. Not that I really do resolutions, the trend among my friends this year is to choose a word or theme for your year. As soon as I heard of this, it took about two seconds to decide that my word was going to be honor. A word so powerful so transient so befitting what I want.

Honor

Honor: (noun): high respect; esteem. a privilege. (verb): regard with great respect. fulfill (an obligation) or keep (an agreement)

I will Honor myself in the choices that I make
I will be making choices that Honor my body
I will be Honoring my mind as I seek to live more through my heart and less through my mind
I will Honor my true spirit by following my passions for creativity and youthful exuberance.
I will Honor my family and friends with the decisions that I make, honor their values, honor their wishes however I will work to continue to honor my needs first.
I will Honor the place that I was in my life, and the place that I am now, and realize that everything is temporary, including setbacks.
I will Honor those around me with acts of kindness and compassion because the world needs more understanding.

It will not be easy, but I think it is important for me to be looking each day for how I am honoring myself. Choosing to stick to my guns about no gluten and no dairy is one way I am honoring myself. Choosing not to go out in the cold this weekend, while keeping me from the gym is not honoring my body choosing water over more coffee is. Walking in place as I watch Netflix is also honoring myself more than just sitting on the bed. It is all a matter of perspective I suppose.

Do you have a resolution for the year? Have you heard about picking a word for the year? Have you picked a word? Pick one! Tell me what it is, or how you plan to apply it to your life I would love to hear about it, either in a comment or link me to your blog!